I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
