too bad you live with your parents still
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
