my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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