so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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