The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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