Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
