what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
