Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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