Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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