think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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