ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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