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• (305): View more from Florida

  Can I come over?

  (786): View more from Florida

  Can't... I'm at class right now.

  (305): View more from Florida

  No your not

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm outside by your car.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ

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