I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific