She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
