Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
