Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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