My friends, they love my intelligence
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
