Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize