You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We're too hungover to prance.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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