eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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