I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
