Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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