Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head

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(540): View more from Virginia

The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.

(540): View more from Virginia

you also need to get my treadmill fixed.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering

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