Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.