you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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