I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
