I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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