At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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