what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
