I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
