just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
