I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
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I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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