would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
