hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
