I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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