i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
