Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
