Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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