Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
