hotel room ftw
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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