I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
