i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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