Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
