he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
