Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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