bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As shirtless as possible
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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