well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
