I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
