Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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