Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize