i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Semen is not good for contacts.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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