So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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