i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
