I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize