I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
