Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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