someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
