i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
