do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
