I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
