Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
