I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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