I wish I could teleport
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize