on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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