Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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